Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Scared

Hey there dear reader.  It's been a while.  And as much as I can't stand starting off my posts with some "I'm tired" or "Work is so busy", it's true.  Some of the time at least.  The other half of the time I'm sitting in front of my computer reading nonsense because I'm too scared to hit "new post".  I worry that it will be too short, too bland, or worst of all, not "me".

It's not easy being a blogger when you are your worst critic.  And so I worry.  Am I writing as the me I am or the me I want you to see read?  If you met me, would you be thrown off or would I be The Blushing Dreamer?  I thought long and hard before creating this blog, especially in deciding the title. It might not be the most clever, but it fit me.  I've said it before, but I'm shy.  I get embarrassed easily and blush way too much for reasons unknown(mostly unknown).  I'm also a dreamer.  I believe in miracles, second chances, happily ever afters, and pink.  These are the things I've mentioned time and time again.  That is who you know.  The truth is, I've never really written more than the typical "about me".  Yes, everything is true - but it doesn't tell you that I'm easily-entertained, sarcastic, stubborn, a worrier, or terribly gullible.  There's obviously more to me than just words, but writing is my favorite form of expression.

I feel confident when I write.  I might be one out of a million bloggers, but I love it.  I know I can't make everyone happy, and it's similar in hoping you see me as I am.  I don't want to be impersonal or write fluff, but speaking honestly - it's happened.  I'm not proud of it and they are obviously not my most popular posts, but here's to change.  Like the start of a new school year, I'm attempting a clean slate and leaving the fluff in the past.  I'm going to write when I want to write and not feel bad about taking a day off, or even a week.  This isn't a second job - it's a hobby and I want it to stay that way.  I'm not promising a regular blog schedule or my life story anytime soon, but I want to be authentic and most importantly, me.

4 comments :

  1. Looking forward to what you have in store, girl. Your blog is one of my favorites! You have a strong reader and friend over here : )

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  2. Thanks, Sharon! So happy to have you as a friend :)

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  3. I totally support this. I've met you in person and read your stuff online, and I think you're pretty awesome.

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  4. Thanks girl! I hope we get to meet again soon :)

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Thanks for reading, you've really made my day!